My Troubles with Breastfeeding

Congratulations! You just had a little bundle of joy. You now have to worry about this little human for the rest of your life (or just until you can push them out of the nest at 18). I'm sure you and your spouse have so many plans for your little family. If you're anything like me, you'll have planned how you're to save all kinds of money on diapers and formula. I had originally wanted to use cloth diapers, but found they didn't work well for us. However, that wasn't too hard for us to overcome. We just switched to disposable. I had also wanted to breastfeed. This sadly didn't work out for us either and I had a tough time overcoming this set back. 

Every woman has that desire to be able to provide and feed her child. Society these days pressures women to breastfeed their children rather than bottle feed. They make you feel like a horrible mother if you don't (at least this was how I felt). To breastfeed your child is a natural and beautiful thing. However, what happens when you can't? We are told time and time again how beneficial a mother's milk is to our children. There are more nutrients in Mamma's milk than scientists can copy or manufacture into baby formula. Bottom line is breastfeeding is great for the baby and mommy. 

When my Maddie was born I was ready. I purchased a Madela breast pump with all the bells and whistles, nursing bras and covers, breast pads for leaking milk and bags to store the extra milk in the freezer. I was excited and prepared. I pretty much had expected to breastfeed. I never planned for failure.  Trying to breastfeed was very frustrating. I read so many books on what to do if it wasn't going well. The books didn't seem to help me.  I had read that within hours after giving birth you need to try to feed and so I did. I tried every position possible, the nurse and Dr tried to help and yet my child still wouldn't latch. No worries. We would try again a little bit later and that we did. Every two hours we tried and still she wouldn't latch. A lactation consultant visited us in the hospital and did all she could with what little time we had with her to get the breastfeeding to work. We tried nipple shields, positions, and the pump but to no avail. I was starting to get extremely frustrated and felt as if I couldn't do this. 

I was lucky to have such a great support system behind me. Three days after my child was born, we still couldn't get her to breastfeed. We had to give her a bottle. My little girl had to eat and who was I to deny her a bottle even though she wouldn't eat from the breast? We saw another lactation consultant, a pediatrician, and even asked for help from a family member who was currently breastfeeding as well. After many failed attempts, we had finally gotten her to latch to a breast shield. We were so elated and a huge sigh of relief washed over me. It didn't last long though. The breast shield tore my breasts up and made it too painful to continue. She wasn't getting much milk through the shields anyways. After several months of trying, I finally gave up. I continued to pump until my milk dried up at 5 months. I felt like such a failure and the worst mother alive. I had such a great group of friends and family who reassured me that I did all I could and had exhausted every effort possible. 

I realized that there are many moms who have gone through the same thing. No mom is alone. There are many women who have had the same experiences and problems as me. I learned that things don't always go as planned and you just have to roll with the punches. I'm not a failure because I couldn't breastfeed. I'm just a better mom for having done all I could to feed my child nature's way. I worried myself sick and I really shouldn't have because my little girl is doing just fine. She is healthy, happy and that is all that matters to me. To all the moms who are struggling to breastfeed, I say don't stress. You are a wonderful mom for trying and if it doesn't work out, then know that you did all you could. 

Homemade Christmas Trees!

So I have been seeing everywhere these adorable miniature cone shaped trees. These little trees are decorated so cute but can get pretty expensive. I have always wanted a set of three different sized trees but couldn't afford them (I mainly didn't want to part with the money because I'm cheap). So one day I was browsing through Pinterest (as I do almost every day! I love that site!) and noticed a post on how to make these adorable elf sized trees. I said to myself, "Candace, you can make these! They don't look that hard!" So I re-pinned the post and began my research. In all honesty these weren't hard to make at all! Well, if you don't take into account the burn blisters I received from the hot glue gun, the amount of time it took to make them and battling pieces of tissue paper away from the cat.

So here it begins. I started off with making a trip to the Dollar Tree and purchasing these items:

1. 2 large poster board papers
2. tissue paper- 3 different colors -for one of the colors I had to go to Walmart 
3. three plastic solo cups- which I already had
4. hot glue gun and glue sticks-- also had already

I started out by cutting the poster board into three parts. Each part a little larger than the other. Then I rolled them into cones and glued them in place. After rolling them, I set inside (through the bottom of course) a solo cup. I cut around the bottom of the poster board to make it even with the cup and then taped them together. The cup allows the tree to stand evenly and makes the cone keep its shape.

After making your cone, cut your tissue paper (each color) into 1 1/2 inch strips.

Like so:

After you have your strips cut you can begin assembling your trees. I have three different designs for mine so I had to assemble them differently. For two of the trees I twisted the paper:

I started this particular tree by twisting the pieces of paper and making them into circles. I made small and large circles and began to alternate them throughout the cone. I want to think that this gave it more depth.

 This tree I made by cutting the 1 1/2 inch strips into 1 1/2 inch x 1 1/2 inch squares. Using a pencil I would loosely wrap a piece around the eraser, apply a small dab of glue and press it against the cone. This took a long time but was much easier to do than the other trees.

The last tree I made was the green tree and it was pretty easy. I twisted each piece of tissue paper strip and glued them in place around the cone (overlapping ends to give it a seamless appearance). I love my little trees and they make a great addition to my Christmas Decor. I did all of this for under $6.

The end result:

To store I put them in a grocery bag and laid them in a plastic tote. The Pinterest post I found these from is: http://acreativemomma.blogspot.com/2010/12/tissue-christmas-trees.html

Crocheting!

My Grandmother was a great seamstress, quilter, and loved to crochete and knitt. I however, am not. After being laid off from my job, I found myself with nothing to do. I had all this time on my hands and I needed something to fill it with. There are only so many times you can clean the house in a week right?! So I decided to try and follow in my grandmas footsteps by taking up crocheting. I purchased some crocheting tools, a beginners pattern book and some yarn. Little did I know I had gotten in way over my head. I asked a neighbor for help and after showing me a simple stitch I began my blanket. Well, it turned out to be a cat toy instead. My edging was way off, it took me forever to get even an inch of blanket crocheted, and my yarn kept snagging which caused it to fray like crazy. I decided youtube was my best friend after that. I figured out what I was doing wrong and took it from there. It's amazing how easy something is when you'r doing it right! I have learned much from YouTube since then and for Christmas this year I made four blankets. My family loved these and were shocked that I was actually able to make something (seeing as most of my attempts to make things whether baking or sewing have all been fails!).  I hope to post more pictures of any other blankets or crocheted items I make in the future. 

Proud Mama!

Eight months ago today I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. She made her debut and stole my heart. I cannot believe how quickly she is growing. It seems as if just yesterday I endured 28 hours of labor and  yet I can't remember much of life before her. She is now pulling herself up to stand while holding onto something and trying to walk. She eats veggie puffs and baby crackers, sleeps in her own room, sleeps through the night, and loves the kitties. She is a fast little crawler and is so interested in the things around her. Trouble seems to be her middle name. If she can fit it in her mouth then she tries to eat it, no matter what it is. She plays well by herself and enjoys playing with other children (although she really could care less about the other kids, she just does her own thing). She says mama and sometimes baba. She tries to say dada but we are still working on that. Throwing things is a fun little game she likes to play and nap time is something she tries to avoid.

It's amazing how such a small little human can completely steal my heart. I would do anything for this child and I do mean anything. It breaks my heart to hear of children left in hot cars, being abused, without a loving family or having their lives cut short for any reason. I cry when I think of something happening to my little girl. I know that no matter what God has His hand on her and everything that happens in her life I want to happen due to God's will.

I always knew that parenting would be tough. I have always had this picture painted in my head of long days where I am tired and having to entertain my child even though I want to go to bed. I've imagined the sleepless nights with a crying baby and the reassuring I'd have to do to let my child know that they were ok. What I didn't realize was how I would be able to handle those sleepless nights, the constant crying, the things that we parents sometimes have to do that break our hearts. My daughter just started her new bedtime schedule. This involved putting her to bed awake (to teach her to self soothe and put herself to sleep) and letting her cry for a bit until she fell asleep. My kiddo loves to fight sleep. I think she's afraid she is going to miss out on something if she goes night night. There is nothing more heart wrenching than hearing your child screaming from her bedroom, upset because she has to go to sleep, she's all alone in a dark room (with a night light of course) and yelling "Mama, mama, mama". You want nothing more than to run in there, sweep her into your arms and say "You're ok, mama is here. Mama's got you". But sadly you can't.

Now I know every parent has their own method of doing things and teaching things to their children. After consulting my parents, friends who are parents, doctors, the internet and countless books, I have decided that this is the best method for my kiddo. I have had quite a bit of experience with baby sitting kids over the years, but nothing is like being a parent. There are so many decisions. If you make one that is wrong than you feel like a horrible parent. No one is perfect at being a parent and this is something I have to tell myself time and time again. I may be new at this but I have plenty of help and I am doing the best I can. Love and Joy swell my heart and make me so proud to call myself Madisons mom. I love being a mom. I wouldn't trade those hard choices and sleepless nights for anything. I am very excited to watch her learn and grow into a beautiful young lady. I just pray that it doesn't happen too quickly. Eight months have flown by, but those precious eight months were filled with such cherished memories. I am excited to see what God has in store for our little family.