Congratulations! You just had a little bundle of joy. You now have to worry about this little human for the rest of your life (or just until you can push them out of the nest at 18). I'm sure you and your spouse have so many plans for your little family. If you're anything like me, you'll have planned how you're to save all kinds of money on diapers and formula. I had originally wanted to use cloth diapers, but found they didn't work well for us. However, that wasn't too hard for us to overcome. We just switched to disposable. I had also wanted to breastfeed. This sadly didn't work out for us either and I had a tough time overcoming this set back.
Every woman has that desire to be able to provide and feed her child. Society these days pressures women to breastfeed their children rather than bottle feed. They make you feel like a horrible mother if you don't (at least this was how I felt). To breastfeed your child is a natural and beautiful thing. However, what happens when you can't? We are told time and time again how beneficial a mother's milk is to our children. There are more nutrients in Mamma's milk than scientists can copy or manufacture into baby formula. Bottom line is breastfeeding is great for the baby and mommy.
When my Maddie was born I was ready. I purchased a Madela breast pump with all the bells and whistles, nursing bras and covers, breast pads for leaking milk and bags to store the extra milk in the freezer. I was excited and prepared. I pretty much had expected to breastfeed. I never planned for failure. Trying to breastfeed was very frustrating. I read so many books on what to do if it wasn't going well. The books didn't seem to help me. I had read that within hours after giving birth you need to try to feed and so I did. I tried every position possible, the nurse and Dr tried to help and yet my child still wouldn't latch. No worries. We would try again a little bit later and that we did. Every two hours we tried and still she wouldn't latch. A lactation consultant visited us in the hospital and did all she could with what little time we had with her to get the breastfeeding to work. We tried nipple shields, positions, and the pump but to no avail. I was starting to get extremely frustrated and felt as if I couldn't do this.
I was lucky to have such a great support system behind me. Three days after my child was born, we still couldn't get her to breastfeed. We had to give her a bottle. My little girl had to eat and who was I to deny her a bottle even though she wouldn't eat from the breast? We saw another lactation consultant, a pediatrician, and even asked for help from a family member who was currently breastfeeding as well. After many failed attempts, we had finally gotten her to latch to a breast shield. We were so elated and a huge sigh of relief washed over me. It didn't last long though. The breast shield tore my breasts up and made it too painful to continue. She wasn't getting much milk through the shields anyways. After several months of trying, I finally gave up. I continued to pump until my milk dried up at 5 months. I felt like such a failure and the worst mother alive. I had such a great group of friends and family who reassured me that I did all I could and had exhausted every effort possible.
I realized that there are many moms who have gone through the same thing. No mom is alone. There are many women who have had the same experiences and problems as me. I learned that things don't always go as planned and you just have to roll with the punches. I'm not a failure because I couldn't breastfeed. I'm just a better mom for having done all I could to feed my child nature's way. I worried myself sick and I really shouldn't have because my little girl is doing just fine. She is healthy, happy and that is all that matters to me. To all the moms who are struggling to breastfeed, I say don't stress. You are a wonderful mom for trying and if it doesn't work out, then know that you did all you could.
