Are you a true friend?

Have you ever had that one friend who disappointed you or made you realize you were just being used by them? I have. Many times. I think we can all say on some degree that we have been let down by a friend. Just like every relationship, you put yourself out there time and time again and yet each time you get hurt. Maybe you are that one rare person who has had a best friend for many years and you have no issues with each other. If you are that person, congratulations. It is rare to find a true friendship like that.

Lately I have had to re-evaluate my friendships. I have friends who haven't been there for me, but expected me to be there for them. They decided that they had better things to do than to come to my wedding, meet my husband, or (after having kids) see my children. They don't text or call except when they need me.  I see them post photos and comments on Facebook with other friends, but they never ask me to join in on their fun. This can make you feel used and alone. I

understand life can sometimes tear friendships apart. Maybe you got married and moved away, had kids, your schedule became really hectic or work kept you busy. Regardless of life events, you always need a friend especially when you are going through those tough times.

Today's friendships are what I call "friends of convenience". You are their friend when it's convenient for them. I'm so tired of these friendships. I have decided to share how a true friend is supposed to act. Here it goes:

A true friend...

• supports your dreams, ambitions, crazy schemes, relationships (when healthy), and personal decisions
• tells you the truth no matter what- this includes if they are mad at you, if you're being stupid or crazy, if you're acting, speaking, looking dumb, or are making bad decisions
• calls, texts, and visits as often as they can- even if out of the blue to just say hi or see how you are doing. They don't go months without speaking to you and then one day need something from you
• doesn't use you for your generosity
• is there for you when you need them most and when you just want to have fun
• gets into messes with you- doesn't watch you make them and then leave you to deal with the consequences alone
• drops everything during emergencies to be there for you
• loves you and your crazy family regardless of the situation
• celebrates the most important moments in your life with you

         

Are you this type of friend? If not then you have some work to do. I pray everyone finds the type of friend that they need and want. God Bless.

Overcoming Toddlers Failure to Thrive Part 4

          Today is a new day! So my kiddos have just come back from a week at the grandparents. The little break was quite nice I do have to say, but I missed them terribly. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy my time without them (if you can overlook the many tests I’ve had done at the Dr.’s office while they were gone) but truly I did miss them. I was able to clean my van for the first time in several months, do some touch ups with paint throughout the house, organize, and clean the things I don’t have time for or am unable to do while I’m watching kiddos. This time alone has also let me do some serious thinking. We were finally able to lock down a date to see an Occupational Therapist to help our little monkey and I was able to get a list of things down that needed to change in our household. Many of them are to help our baby girl overcome her eating issues and get our family on an actual schedule.

            One thing the book I read (you may remember: “Helping Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating” by Katja Rowell, MD and Jenny McGlothlin, MS, SL) is that every child needs a strict routine. So, a routine I have created. I have also made some new house rules for how we are going to help turn our daughters eating around. I know these rules probably wont apply to other households and may not make sense to you (unless you read the book!) But here goes:

1. No pressure- Not even positive pressure. No “Please eat” or “good girl you ate…” or “if you eat this I’ll give you this”, no “just try it you’ll like it”
2.  Monkey sits at the table with us at eye level (not in a high chair away from us)
3. No putting food on her plate without her permission. She gets to say what and how much goes on her plate from what is on the table
4. Food will be served “family style” in the center of the table
5.  Breakfast, lunch and dinner will be eaten together as a family. If we expect her to eat then we need to lead by example and eat as well.  This helps take the pressure of her being expected to eat and yet we aren’t, off of her.
6.  Routine! Routine! Routine! We are to follow a strict routine for mealtime, snack time, nap time and bed time.
7. There will be no “grazing”. Food is to be given at meal times and snack times only. This will help her obtain an appetite and help her body recognize routine (when she’s hungry)
8.  Playtime or cleanup right before lunch or diner- sing cleanup song- this helps her body recognize when its time to eat
9.  Brush teeth 2x’s a day- roof of mouth and tongue- to wake up the senses
10. More sensory toy time play
11. No sneaking foods into meals for nutrients- child will learn to distrust you if she figures it out
12. Pediasure or supplements will be offered at meal time only as not to spoil appetite during meals
13. Have her help make meals
14. Make more meals using children cookbooks
15. Take kiddos to farms to have them pick their own food and learn where it comes from

As you can see from my long list, we have a lot to work on. This doesn’t include the page long list I made for our daily routine! My hope is that in a short time after implementing these rules, we will notice changes in Monkeys eating habits. This will of course be changed or improved upon if her

therapist doesn’t agree with these rules (all rules on my list are taken from reading the above mentioned book). Let me know what you think of our new rules and what rules you have implemented in your home. Have they helped you and do you see any improvement? As always I would love your feedback!

Overcoming Toddlers Failure to Thrive Part 3

So recently I purchased a book to help us gain more insight on our daughters extreme picky eating and how we can help her overcome her failure to thrive classification. Remember the “Helping Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating” by Katja Rowell, MD and Jenny McGlothlin, MS, SL. Well…. I got the book! Yay! I had to find time to read it, which I somehow managed. I guess waiting for doctors, insomnia and my parents watching my kiddos makes for great reading time.  This book gave me such great insight into the different aspects of kids with picky eating. I always thought it was just kids being picky. Did you know that picky eating can be related to kids with sensitivities to foods and textures?! They could also have problems with their oral motor functions meaning they never learned how to fully chew their food.  Factors of pressures to eat (which is bad), not knowing their own bodies (or knowing that they are even hungry), and lack of

routine play a part in picky eating as well.

            After reading this book I am more aware of the pressures our children are faced with when learning and growing. I mean, when you normally think of kids you think they have it so easy. They don’t have bills to pay and responsibilities to worry about, but in reality they do. They have growing responsibilities and that can put a lot of pressure on them.  This book describes the many different reasons why our children are so picky with their food and how to help them overcome them. They describe the different sensitivity levels and how to stop pressuring the child to eat. I didn’t realize this was such an issue with children until I started poking around on the internet and talking to other people. Oddly there are a ton of kids out there with sensitivity issues. Our cable guy overhead my husband and I talking about our daughter and the book and told us his son has sensitivity issues.

       

  I don’t wish other parents or children to have to deal with this but I am glad we aren’t alone. There are blogs and many people out there who can help.  I guess I am writing all of this and telling you our story to help others. Maybe it will help you gain insight where your doctor has failed to diagnose your child correctly with an eating problem. Maybe you know your child has an eating issue and think you’re alone in your struggle to help your child. Trust me there are many people going through this. I hope the story of our journey in overcoming our child’s picky eating and sensitivities will help you. I would love to hear your stories as well! Please feel free to message me and share your success stories or current journey.

Overcoming Toddlers Failure to Thrive Part 2

Our perfect little whirlwind was recently told she was failure to thrive.  No parent likes to be told that there is something wrong with their child. Every parent fears and prays that their child wont get some incurable disease or have some thing wrong with them that puts their health at risk.  When I was pregnant with each of my children I prayed every night that my kids would grow healthy, whole and happy. It breaks my heart seeing children with diseases that kill or hurt their small bodies.  I would wonder if I would have the strength to watch my child go through the pain and suffering that many children go through on a daily basis. I really don’t know how their parents keep it all together. I would be a major wreck! To all you parents going through this battle, I am praying for you and your babies. Where was I? Oh yeah, praying for my kiddos. When my babies were born with a clean bill of health I was so thankful, and still am. But when a doctor tells you that your child is failure to thrive you begin to question everything. What did I as a parent do wrong? When did I first screw up? Will we ever be able to fix our daughters situation? What the heck?!

    

  

Our little world was thrown for a loop. I immediately began to worry and stress. It’s what I do. When a problem presents itself, I stress. I took to the internet, Pinterest and books to find a solution. Yes I said Pinterest. You would be surprised at what you can find there. Seriously! I have found many health tips on that site!  After ready many different blogs, websites and forums, I found some answers. First off, I read that it’s not my fault that my daughter has these issues. I know you are probably thinking that it doesn’t really matter whose fault it is but as parents we tend to beat ourselves up over these things.  Secondly, I found a blog run by an Occupational Therapist who posted about children labeled failure to thrive. She described my daughters eating and other habits to a tee. Her solution? Read a book. No seriously. She suggest parents read “Helping Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating” by Katja Rowell, MD and Jenny McGlothlin, MS, SLP. It’s a step-by-step guide for overcoming selective eating, food aversion, and feeding disorders.

      

      This book was highly recommended and after doing some research, saw that it had helped many families. So I thought I’d purchase it and see what it had to say. Our doctor also recommended we see a specialist. Hey I’m willing to try whatever it takes (within reason) to help my child overcome her issues. So now we are going to be seeing an Occupational Therapist in the hopes that he or she can shed some light on what we are doing wrong or need to improve upon. I wish I could just do the I dream of Jeanie nod and make my child eat everything I put in front of her. Until then we are going to keep presenting her with different foods and try to keep her calorie count up. So far Pediasure and juice are the main go to sources for some easy calories. Sometimes she will eat fries and chicken nuggets. As always I'd love to hear your feedback! Tell me your success stories or how you are faring on your journey with FTT!

Overcoming Toddlers Failure to Thrive

You first find out that you’re pregnant and are super excited. I mean you’re jumping for joy, wanting to scream it from the rooftops and can’t help but tell everybody, excited. You and your spouse make all sorts of plans on how you’re going to raise your youngster. You make compromises on certain aspects of discipline and decide what type of child you will have. If it’s a boy he will probably be in sports, music and be handy with different tools. If you have a girl you want a princess who isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty but still wants to be girly with all the frills and lace. You breathe a sigh of relief after every Dr.’s appointment and leave with peace of mind knowing your child is healthy. The day comes to deliver your sweet bundle of joy and you prepare for the pain of childbirth. Congratulations! It’s a healthy baby girl! She has all 10 fingers and all 10 toes. She’s a small 6lbs 12oz little thing but she’s perfectly healthy nonetheless.

            A year goes by and you are so thankful she’s a healthy ball of energy. You compare her achievements and milestones to other kids and are pleased that she seems to be ahead of her friends (Oh come one we all do it! Admit it!).  This is what we did. We were so proud that our little girl was learning and was achieving milestones ahead of time. In our minds she was absolutely perfect. Her doctor would tell us to get her to eat more because she was so small. She was considered 1% in her weight class and was a super picky eater.  We chalked this up to be a normal thing. I mean come on! She’s just a small frame and most kids her age are picky!

Her Dr. at the time treated her for a skin disorder due to her often scratching the back of her neck but later found that she didn’t have one. I loved our daughter’s doctor but had my issues with her. She would dismiss certain concerns and misdiagnose others. Luckily baby girls doctor retired just before her second birthday and we were given a new doctor. This doctor is amazing! She, instead of critiquing our daughter and telling us what we are doing wrong, decided to give us solutions to our issues. It helped that she had the same exact issues with her daughter. Having a doctor with the same personal experience is a huge game changer. We immediately felt more at ease and quickly fell in trust with her.

   

        Her new doctor was quick to recognize the issues that needed immediate attention. She asked us all the right questions (finally a Dr. who knows what to ask!) and knew exactly what we needed to do. We quickly found out that our precious and perfect little girl had some bad eating habits; habits that could not be ignored nor taken lightly. My worst fears were quickly realized and although it took me a little time to come to terms with them, I was ready to do everything I could to tackle the issues at hand.  We were told that our little monkey was classified as failure to thrive. She had only gained one pound in 6 months, barely ate anything due to being extremely picky and had some sensitivity issues. No parent wants to hear this but this was our situation and now we have to learn to make it better.

To Be Continued.....