Things I never thought I'd have to say to my children

Having children is such a wonderful and fulfilling feeling. Yes stressful at times but well worth it. When I think of children I usually think of all the positive things I would say to them. Phrases such as "well done", " you're such a smart little girl", or "oh that picture you drew is beautiful". Things, however, change when you become a parent. I've surprised myself with some of the things I have had to say while scolding my kids. These scoldings, though hilarious now, were definitely not funny at the time. I decided to list just a few phrases I have had to use on my kiddos in the hopes that you might get a chuckle out it. These are just a few of the many I have stored away.

1.) We don't eat cat food
2.) Mommies pads are not stickers
3.) The stuff in the trash cans are not toys
4.) Stop licking my feet
5.) Don't eat your clothes
6.) Your sissy is not a horsey
7.) Stop squawking like a bird
8.) We don't paint with our poop!
9.) We don't eat our poop! That's disgusting!
10.) Stop biting my toes
11.) Your daddy is not a trampoline
12.) Your sissy is not a dog, we don't feed her the food you refuse to eat
13.) Stop growling at me
14.) Don't spit your food at me
15.) Stop stripping

But... Just when I think I have had to scold for weird things, I end up being rewarded by one of her cute shenanigans. I told her the other day that my head hurt and she instantly folds her hands together and says "I pray for mommies head, Amen".  Just when I think my two year old is a complete brat, she goes and surprises me by being a sweetheart. 

I hope these made your day a little brighter. I will be posting more in a few weeks. If you liked this post and would love to see more, please subscribe to my blog to receive future posts. 

A little pick me up with silly babies!

There are so many funny memes and pictures on the internet these days. I decided that I would go in search of a few that would perfectly describe my life with an infant and a crazy toddler. Well, to say I found a few would be an understatement. There were so many that it was hard to choose from. So I decided to post a few here. I hope they give you a good laugh and make your day brighter. I'm sure that anyone with children can easily relate. I hope many of these bring about some silly stories and if they do I would love to hear them!

I can never pee in peace.

EVERY DAY!!

My two year old doesn't want to potty on the potty. She will instead tell me when she poops so I can change her.

Oh yes!! My kids are always into trouble following silence.

Yep! Just as I get settled into my bed and start to fall asleep a child cries.

 

Every time!

I hope these brought a smile to your face and maybe made you chuckle a little. 

My Endless Night!

     As I write this I am so tired. It is now 10:30 on a Monday night. I am supposed to be in bed fast asleep, like my lucky husband. Sadly though I am wide awake with a very hyper 1 ½ year old… Or as wide awake as a 25 week along, sleep deprived, in pain pregnant mom can be. I have to stop every few seconds to check on the well being of my cats whom are being endlessly chased by my wide awake monkey. 

    Her usual bedtime is 8 pm. She had a late nap so we put her down at 8:30 instead of 8 tonight. She did her usual cry for a few minutes, play in her crib for half an hour and when she was tired of playing in the dark (she has a small night light so it’s not completely dark in her room) she decided to cry some more. We let her cry for an hour at the most. 9:30 rolled around and she was still awake so we went in to let her know we are still here and she’s ok. We gave her a little sip of water, checked to make sure she was ok, see if she needed a diaper change and then after kissing her again said goodnight. She cried again for another half hour. 

   Now at this point I am ready for bed. I have had a shower, brushed my teeth, cleaned the living room of toys and miscellaneous items and was about to hop into bed and enjoy a nice cozy, comfy night of sleep.  I checked the baby monitor to see if our little monkey had dozed off to dream land yet but was thoroughly dismayed when I heard her crying. 

AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!! 

I guess my warm cozy bed will have to wait. When asking my hyperactive child why she was still awake she promptly began to meow. She meowed several times and as silly as the sound was, her facial expressions were even funnier. I couldn’t help but laugh. Sadly this was all she needed to begin her rampage of terror on the once cleaned living room and kitties who unfortunately thought they were safe for the night. She is now running around throwing her toys, terrorizing my poor cats, jibber jabbing nonsense and reeking havoc on my couch. Sigh* I guess this mama is going to be up for a while. I hope you all have a better nights sleep than what it would seem I am going to get.