Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Misconceptions of being a "Perfect Mom"

      Perfect. We all strive to be the definition of this word. Whether we are trying to be impeccable parents, children, employees, business owners or trying to perfect a skill, we strive to be unequaled. The sad truth is that no one is perfect. We cannot and will not ever be faultless people or beyond compare at anything. So why do we push ourselves so hard to achieve a level of perfection that we set? We work our fingers to the bone and only end up hurting ourselves, pushing people away and creating this false sense of perfection which we will never amount to. Why do we do this? I believe we are made to feel guilty and take our cues from society, TV, Pinterest and Facebook.
      I am a Pinterest addict. I cannot lie about that. I am usually on Pinterest pinning things that I like or want to do (which most things I pin I never recreate or use) in the least 3 times a day. I get all of my ideas from there.  I won't lie but Pinterest has saved my butt many times when it has come to gift ideas, crafts and quick dinner recipes. There is a major downfall to Pinterest, however, other than making you such an addict. Pinterest gives mothers a false sense of what a perfect mother should be. I can click on a pin which will take me to the blog which that pin was linked to and read all the wonderful things that mother does with her kids. Multiple pins from the same mom are posted with all the cool DIY projects, crafts, dinner ideas and so on. I look at these blog posts and pins and start to feel like an inadequate mother. I begin telling myself that I have to be a better mom. I have to do more things with my kiddo crafts wise, cook better dinners, keep my house sparkling clean, and make my kids snacks from scratch. I'll be darned if I'm going to order a cake for my kids birthday instead of be the creative and do-it-all mom who makes a perfect themed cake.
          Now don't get me wrong, Pinterest is awesome. I love Pinterest. I love repining and getting ideas, reading the blog posts that are linked to these pins and trying to better myself as a mom. My problem with some of these pins and blogs is that they give a false sense of what a mom should be able to achieve. I myself started to stress and freak about about my house, my kiddo not learning enough or me not doing enough DIY. I wore myself down just thinking about all I had to do that day and trying to complete these long lists I had written. Facebook, TV and society all advertise moms that can do it all. One minute they are making their kids lunches for school, the next they are finishing their kids science projects and baking cookies for class snack day all before they head off to work. When they get home they make dinner, help with homework, clean the house, do the laundry and even have time to do a DIY project. Before bed they have date time with their spouse, some mommy relaxation time and then off to bed for a long peaceful nights sleep.  While all that is great and wonderful, lets be honest, can you do all that? The reality of it is you're lucky to have made your kids lunch and even remembered to eat breakfast before getting the kids to school on time.
     Moms these days are overworked. We don't need society telling us that we aren't great moms because we don't have our houses cleaned each day or that we don't do enough with our children. We need to stop looking at all the things that some moms are able to accomplish and start looking at what we are able to achieve. I have come to realize that the perfect mom isn't one who can do it all. The perfect mom isn't a mom who wears an apron all day, has a smile slapped on her face every minute, and is a perfect replica of skills like Mary Poppins. The perfect mom is one who spends time with her family, keeps them healthy, shows she cares and is there for them no matter what. The perfect mom is one who kisses booboos, tries her hardest to do all she can for her family, and when the going gets tough, is the calm in the storm. Looking back at my childhood I don't remember a perfectly cleaned house all the time (although my mom kept our house pretty clean and is known by other family members as a clean freak- love you mom!), my mom making our food from scratch each night, or each craft she did with my brother and I. What I remember most was the love, attention, fun trips, her kissing our booboos and her being there when it mattered.
       We as moms need to be there for each other, encourage each other and stop tearing each other down. I love mommy blogs. I learn so much from them, but I have to remind myself each day that I am not a false sense of what a perfect mom is. I cannot do everything that these moms can. Every parent has a different situation which allows them to do different things. We all raise our kiddos differently and have misconceptions of what we need to be and do to be perfect.
       So moms, help each other out, boost each other up and be perfect. Perfect in the sense that your kids see you as a superhero. It's time you should as well. What will they remember when they get older? Would you rather them remember a mom who was a frazzled mess all the time trying to do so many things that she didn't have the time to just sit down and play? I'd rather be known as the mom who gave my children the best memories possible just by being there and loving them. To my mom, thank you for giving me great childhood memories and for showing me what being a great mom is all about.