Eight months ago today I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. She made her debut and stole my heart. I cannot believe how quickly she is growing. It seems as if just yesterday I endured 28 hours of labor and yet I can't remember much of life before her. She is now pulling herself up to stand while holding onto something and trying to walk. She eats veggie puffs and baby crackers, sleeps in her own room, sleeps through the night, and loves the kitties. She is a fast little crawler and is so interested in the things around her. Trouble seems to be her middle name. If she can fit it in her mouth then she tries to eat it, no matter what it is. She plays well by herself and enjoys playing with other children (although she really could care less about the other kids, she just does her own thing). She says mama and sometimes baba. She tries to say dada but we are still working on that. Throwing things is a fun little game she likes to play and nap time is something she tries to avoid.
It's amazing how such a small little human can completely steal my heart. I would do anything for this child and I do mean anything. It breaks my heart to hear of children left in hot cars, being abused, without a loving family or having their lives cut short for any reason. I cry when I think of something happening to my little girl. I know that no matter what God has His hand on her and everything that happens in her life I want to happen due to God's will.
I always knew that parenting would be tough. I have always had this picture painted in my head of long days where I am tired and having to entertain my child even though I want to go to bed. I've imagined the sleepless nights with a crying baby and the reassuring I'd have to do to let my child know that they were ok. What I didn't realize was how I would be able to handle those sleepless nights, the constant crying, the things that we parents sometimes have to do that break our hearts. My daughter just started her new bedtime schedule. This involved putting her to bed awake (to teach her to self soothe and put herself to sleep) and letting her cry for a bit until she fell asleep. My kiddo loves to fight sleep. I think she's afraid she is going to miss out on something if she goes night night. There is nothing more heart wrenching than hearing your child screaming from her bedroom, upset because she has to go to sleep, she's all alone in a dark room (with a night light of course) and yelling "Mama, mama, mama". You want nothing more than to run in there, sweep her into your arms and say "You're ok, mama is here. Mama's got you". But sadly you can't.
Now I know every parent has their own method of doing things and teaching things to their children. After consulting my parents, friends who are parents, doctors, the internet and countless books, I have decided that this is the best method for my kiddo. I have had quite a bit of experience with baby sitting kids over the years, but nothing is like being a parent. There are so many decisions. If you make one that is wrong than you feel like a horrible parent. No one is perfect at being a parent and this is something I have to tell myself time and time again. I may be new at this but I have plenty of help and I am doing the best I can. Love and Joy swell my heart and make me so proud to call myself Madisons mom. I love being a mom. I wouldn't trade those hard choices and sleepless nights for anything. I am very excited to watch her learn and grow into a beautiful young lady. I just pray that it doesn't happen too quickly. Eight months have flown by, but those precious eight months were filled with such cherished memories. I am excited to see what God has in store for our little family.
